A Little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a store and dialed a number. The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: “Lady, can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?”
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line) “I already have someone to cut my lawn.”
Boy: “Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than the person who cuts your lawn now.”
Woman: “I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting the lawn.”
Boy: (with more perseverance) “Lady, I’ll even sweep the floor and the stairs of your house for free.”
Woman: “No, thank you.”
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store-owner: “Son….I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.”
Boy: “No thanks.”
Store-owner: “But you were really pleading for one.”
Boy: “No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!”
"This is called Self Appraisal"
Give your best and the world comes to you !!!
Performance review quotes
1. “He has a knack for making strangers immediately.”
2. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
3. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
4. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored…he’s the other one.”
5. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
6. “A prime candidate for natural deselection.”
7. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
8. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
9. “Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
10. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
11. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
12. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.”
13. “It’s hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.”
14. “One neuron short of a synapse.”
15. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
16. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.”
17. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
18. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.”
19. “His men would follow him anywhere…but only out of morbid curiosity.”
20. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
21. “This employee is really not so much of a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ‘won’t be’.”
22. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
23. “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
24. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
25. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
26. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
27. “This employee should go far…and the sooner he starts, the better.”
28. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.”
29. “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
30. “He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.”
31. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
32. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
33. “He’s been working with glue too much.”
34. “He would argue with a signpost.”
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